For the May first holiday, a 3 month-old Francois’ Leaf Monkey was placed in the Wuhan zoo's monkey exhibit for the first time. The next day his caretaker, model worker Zhang Bangsheng, discovered that the little monkey had indigestion and difficulty defecating, and immediately became worried. Seeing peanut shells on the ground Old Zhang immediately understood that the toothless monkey had swallowed a peanut whole. If it did not quickly defecate it, it would endanger the little monkey’s life. Because the monkey was so small it was unsuitable to use a laxative.

He cleaned monkey’s buttocks, then began using his mouth to lick it, not stopping for over an hour, until the little monkey defecated a single peanut. Only after the peanut was defecated did 50-year-old Zhang Bangsheng laugh with satisfaction.

Customs officers duly discovered what they considered to be an extraordinary stash of alcoholic beverages, despite the man's claims that the booze was meant purely for personal consumption.

While he first claimed to have 40 crates of beer, it turned out he was actually carrying 340 crates; totaling 2357 litres of beer, 158 litres of pre-mixed drinks, 12 litres of wine, and 15 litres of spirits.

The man was put on trial on suspicions of illegal alcohol smuggling.

However, the court acquitted the man by reasoning that he, his father, and other relatives could plausibly consume all the beer within a year if they drank 1.3 litres every weekday.

They referenced a recent Supreme Court ruling which found that transporting huge amounts of alcohol across the border into [the country] doesn't necessarily indicate the beverages are meant to be sold illegally.

Kyrgyzstan's eternal flames flickers out as city and gas company argue over who will pay the bill for it.

This one includes Jar-Jar Binks. I wish I were joking.

Despite disgust of South Korean officials at discovering these pills being brought in from China, they have refused to confirm where the babies came from or who made the capsules. They were not prepared to create diplomatic friction with Beijing, preferring to leave it to Chinese officials to do something about the horrific trade in powdered babies.

"While not binding, the recommendations carry moral weight that can influence governments." Well, dammit.

This is the first time in my memory of our show that we have featured a story from justinbieberzone.com.

The president of Turkmenistan, which has a hot desert climate, has ordered government ministries to set up their own ice hockey teams.